Do we, as new mothers, holding that little angel, ever ask ourselves, "Will I survive the teenage years?"

We wanted to be pregnant, we praise them for ever non-verbal noise they make and every pee-pee they make in the big-person potty, we teach them to manners and we raise them to the best of our abilities and then what? They are teenagers, free thinking, strong willed, verbal (God, help us all) and sharing (all be it at very loud levels) their opinions and wants at any particular time. How many of us have thought, "what was I thinking?!"

TEENAGERS....... that phase of life where, we as parents see tall toddlers who periodically throw tantrums rivaled only by rabid dingoes. That phase of life where we question our parenting skills and wonder what we did wrong while knowing without a doubt why some animals eat their young. Don't get me wrong, there are some fabulous times, times that have us running to the baby books to document the latest 'breakthrough' for us to look back on. Right next to the first tooth and the first hair cut we pen in a rush, so as not to be caught, " Teenage Johnny/Susie picked up their bedroom without being asked!!" and we hide the book away until said teenagers are of the age to appreciate the entry. This usually happens when they are themselves parents of teenagers.

I think it happened overnight with my son; that loving little boy that would crawl onto my lap at the ages of 1-9 and say "You're my favorite mommy. I love you." and sit for hours just .........being. Then one day while dropping him off to school he announces to me, "no kissing mom, my friends are RIGHT THERE!" and out jumps my little man, off to the winding, curvy road-trip we call life. From that point on the PDA was limited to random (sometimes forced) hugs in the privacy of our home. I watches from a 'safe distance' while he became the man he is today, all the while on call for skinned knees, girlfriends that come and go, atv rides at rates of speed faster than a tricycle and the scariest of all DRIVER'S LICENSE. He is now 22 and voluntarily hugs me. See folks? PROGRESS!

My daughter wasn't that abrupt. She, to this day, lets me love on her even at 18 but with daughters they migrate in different ways. Instead of wearing bloomers and ruffled socks, now they are wearing shorts (that I have nicknamed 'denim panties') and tops that need ratings from the movie industry. Try buying modest clothing for a 14 year old that wasn't cloned from a porn star in some way. Its near impossible and the rebuttals from said female teenager makes one think that you are dressing her for 'convent camp'. Apparently modesty kills social lives. Who knew? *insert motherly eye rolling here*

I'm here to tell the moms almost there and entering the TEENAGE YEARS that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The saying what doesn't kill us makes us stronger is, in fact, true. I now bench press Buicks for a hobby but I SURVIVED! The back-talk, the yelling, the curfews that are perpetually pushed and/or broken. They mold and form our kids (and us) into who we will to be. I never wanted to squash my children's opinions. I was raised in a home of "seen but not heard" and Im hear to tell you I wanted to be heard. I let my kids (in a respectable, non-yelling kind of way) tell me their side or have a comment. I've always felt that builds character. I've also taught them that respect for elders comes FIRST before anything. It was a nice blend. Dont get me wrong. It wasn't all rainbows and butterflies but it worked for us. Find your niche. I promise, you will thank me for it. For me personally, I found putting myself into the shoes of my teenager (sometimes requiring major concentration) you see a world, from their perspective, that looks nothing like ours as parents.

Teenagers are our future so when they are throwing fits, yelling, being unreasonable and telling you that they never want to be like you, take a step back. They aren't against us as parents. All of the verbal assault is their way of trying to tell us something. Listen past the decibels of rampage. Listen to what they are not saying. THIS is when we are teaching THEM to be adults. Show them how to verbalize their angst in mature ways by speaking back to them as we would have them speak to us. I promise this works.

^{Kids these days have truckloads more to worry about than we ever did. Parents today need to focus more on forming strong willed, strong character, out-of-the-box-thinking adults and not worry so much about where the bedroom floor went and why their teenagers wait for their clothes to commit laundry suicide and throw themselves into the washing machine. Be strong, moms...........we come out on the other side with patience and an undying love for wine.}

^{God bless you all!}

Megan Franklee

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